Touched Out! [by Claire Martin]

I made a reel, over on my Facebook page about feeling touched out. What is it to feel touched out though? I should explain.

As parents we are everything to our children, particularly in the early years. Young babies are not yet aware that they are separate from their mothers and think that we are in fact the same being. As our children grow they imitate us and want to be with us and learn from us all the time, even if that means going to the bathroom with us when we use the toilet or to have a shower. We are told to enjoy this time, as it doesn’t last forever. Sometimes though, it all gets a little bit too much.

Sleepy AlexWhen this happens your senses begin to shut down, perhaps your skin starts to crawl at the thought of touching someone else or the room feels like it’s closing in. This can start to effect our relationships with our partners, or even our pets. Just not wanting to be touched or be around anyone else, to have some alone time.

I’m here to tell you that it is OK to feel this way.

It is OK to want your own space, your own time. In fact it is vital to your own mental well-being. It does not in anyway make you a bad parent. I, myself, was feeling this way the other week, because I was stressed, and hadn’t had enough sleep. My 3 year old could sense this so he wanted to nurse more, as that is what he does for comfort. Therefore any time I sat down on the sofa to rest, he was there asking for “boobie”. I couldn’t move without him being there, not willing to have any alternative. My already burnt out mind had just had enough. I took myself away from the situation, left him with his dad to watch TV and took myself to the kitchen to make some bread.

Freshly made Focaccia bread

This may seem an odd thing to do for someone who was already really tired, but honestly it was just what I needed. Alone time to do something I wanted to do, something I enjoy doing, something for me. Do you know what, it worked. I felt so much better after making that bread, after taking some time for myself.

That is all it takes sometimes, just one thing that you enjoy doing. That makes you feel like yourself. So read that book, watch that TV program you’ve been putting off, have a glass of wine at the end of the day, take a walk on your own. Never feel guilty for wanting your own space. You may be a parent, but you’re still your own person.

Claire x